Coming Back to Love: the podcast

Karen Walker Cohn (00:01)
So Melissa, when you hear the title of this podcast, Coming Back to Love, Inspiring Stories on Shifting Perspectives, what story or experience from your life comes to mind?

Melissa Braga (00:18)
Such a good question.

In my life, there's been so many moments of...

where I was choosing struggle and already getting emotional. The coming back to love is for me was recognizing, giving myself grace. And that it is a journey.

of continuation of growth and learning and possibility.

And I think when I had that realization was really when I chose into really stepping out of my comfort zone.

and was when like...

There was moments in my life where I had opportunities and struggles and I chose to move forward and really like...

figure myself out, see where things were gone. And then in one of those moments was my thought like, I need to go back to reading the Bible. That was one. Yeah. So we had a miscarriage. And so when that occurred, there was a lot of stuff that I thought and I...

Karen Walker Cohn (01:49)
Mm -hmm.

Oh really, okay. Yeah.

Melissa Braga (02:16)
I played the why me, the whole victim.

Karen Walker Cohn (02:19)
Right.

Melissa Braga (02:22)
how, you know, what did I do wrong? There was a lot of blame, shame, and guilt. And so first thought was...

go back to Jesus, go back to the Bible. I had never read the Bible. Yeah, so born and raised Catholic, going to church, and the fear of the Lord was very different than the fear of the Lord that you talk about now. And so I was like, I wanna go back to church and I don't wanna go to a Catholic church. And...

really starting to read the Bible and get to know the story and getting to know...

how like his love and where I get to love myself and have that grace.

I'm still learning. I'm still learning to love myself. Still learning to love myself every day. There are moments where I get to really ground myself and tell myself to have grace and words of affirmation, which is very, very helpful for me.

Karen Walker Cohn (03:30)
Me too, sister. Me too.

Yeah.

Melissa Braga (03:55)
something that I tell people all the time. And it was something that I realized like I was in my line of work. I was telling everyone like how they can better their lives and how they can, you know, if they choose, I wasn't walking the walk. I wasn't doing the things. And coming back.

Karen Walker Cohn (04:15)
Right. Right.

Melissa Braga (04:21)
to my own self and coming back into realization, like I get to love myself too and hold myself up so that I can then pour into others.

Karen Walker Cohn (04:35)
Wow, that's so good.

Melissa Braga (04:37)
Without that, yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (04:41)
Yeah, like without that, how can you pour? Like we hear that all the time, right? Like, well, I shouldn't say, I have heard a lot that you can't pour from an empty cup, you can't pour from an empty vessel and...

Melissa Braga (04:49)
Yeah. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (04:59)
How have you found that to be true? Because this is what I'm hearing you say. How have you found that to be true for yourself?

Melissa Braga (05:07)
Yeah.

So coming from like the nursing background, like my first thing was always caring for others, right? So, you know, care for others, take care of them, get them better, get them well. And at that time, you know, I wasn't doing it for myself. And here I am getting sick and here I am not feeling good and, you know, choosing into the struggle and making it hard.

and thinking that it has to be hard to succeed and to be something and to do something and to be someone gets to be hard. And then I have to sacrifice all these things and not give myself grace when I fall. And so learning that like,

Yeah, I can't pour from an empty cup because you get, you get burnt out and you're not like, am I really, am I really giving my all if I'm not filled? And I, am I able to really hone in on what...

these people need or what I can possibly give or help them see if I'm not seeing it myself.

Karen Walker Cohn (06:37)
Yeah.

Yeah, you're bringing up some stuff for me. You're bringing up some stuff for me, girl. It's so, okay, first of all, I want to say a couple things. I have known you for the better part of a year, if not more than that. And it's amazing how this conversation, this podcast, I just found out that you had a miscarriage.

Melissa Braga (06:45)
if I'm not doing it.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Karen Walker Cohn (07:12)
You know, it's probably just not something, oh, hey, Karen, by the way. So I want to honor you for sharing that for the listeners and the viewers. We don't script any of this podcast. We don't, you know, Melissa's coming with just a heart to serve. And so what she feels led to speak about is what she feels led to speak about. And I let it happen. And so I want to honor you for that. Because I think...

Melissa Braga (07:14)
You

Karen Walker Cohn (07:40)
immediately what came up for me is, do you know how many men and women you are supporting just by sharing that?

Melissa Braga (07:53)
And it was honestly not something that was coming into my mind to be like, hey. And I do know that it's a statistic. Like I know the statistics of it because I read into it and I truly believe, like, I truly believe it's guided me. Like that happening.

Karen Walker Cohn (07:53)
Yeah.

Well, based on results.

Melissa Braga (08:20)
Did I ever expect it? Absolutely not. And that moment, like, was it, was it gut wrenching? Absolutely. And did I go through all the feels? Yes. And it also led me to where I am today and doing what I'm doing today, which I love. And it's helped me.

It supported me in seeing all the things that I was doing to myself as well.

health -wise, you know, whole body mind soul -wise, like what I was doing to myself, not giving myself grace, not loving myself, all those things I feel contribute and then also being away from the Bible, you know, and not reading the Bible and not having an actual relationship with God and Jesus. And so for me, it's done a full circle and...

Karen Walker Cohn (09:06)
Right.

Melissa Braga (09:30)
And however it was really, you know, difficult and feeling all the feels, there's a part of me that's grateful that it occurred so that I can be in the place that I'm meant to be. Even if I don't know what that is just yet.

Karen Walker Cohn (09:45)
Yeah. Yeah. I've heard that sentiment quite a bit, which kind of leads me into the second thing that is coming up for me, just listening to your story, because I relate. So I have not had a miscarriage. So I don't relate there. I relate in the fact that, you know, I make things harder than they need to be.

How can I possibly make this situation harder? You don't realize you're doing it, it's a pattern, right? And one of the things, for your coming back to love moment, coming back to reading the Bible, that was it for you. After my second divorce, I just felt like an abysmal failure.

And it was not like the divorces where, you know, sometimes you kind of think, oh, you're fighting, you're fighting. And, and, oh, this is just, we actually didn't fight. We, I thought we got along great, you know? And, you know, one day I came home and he was gone. So I, it was one of those moments where, and I talk about this in, in the book, Unstoppable, where I just came home and thought,

like what is wrong with me? You know, what is wrong with me that I am not getting this? And you know, after all the work and stuff you come to realize, okay, there's nothing actually wrong with you at all. You're just making choices in your life. And my coming back, one of my coming back to love moments really resonates with what you said. Is this thing on, I used to believe that,

You know, I'm in the middle and I'm making these decisions. I've got, you know, God on one side, the devil on the other, and I'm going back and forth going, okay, well, which decision do I make? How do I? And gosh, when my best friend shared with me a revelation for her has been a revelation for me, that it's not God on one side, the devil on the other, and you got

to choose between that. There is no devil. From that perspective, there is no devil. There is you and God and you are one. And you're intertwined like this in this three cord So the decision that I chose to make,

From my heart, God's in it. You know, like we, I get to choose because I'm led, Spirit led. Like there is no separating God out of me. And so this is kind of what, for myself, what I've learned that I'm not separate from God. We are one and He goes with me with every decision I make.

Melissa Braga (12:39)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

So good.

Karen Walker Cohn (12:59)
Instead of like you said, the blame, shame and guilt, right, wrong, good, bad, if we just kind of let that perspective go, you know, we're left with me and God. And I can make some powerful decisions from that place, you know, from not doubting myself. So I appreciate you sharing your coming back to love moment. And like you said, there's...

there's multiple and it's moment by moment and it's day by day, sometimes second by second. So yeah, it's the fact that you are.

Melissa Braga (13:35)
Yes.

Karen Walker Cohn (13:43)
Like I know this about you, you're making decisions and you're going and reflecting on the decision in the moment.

Melissa Braga (13:50)
Yeah, absolutely. It's like you mentioned, it's a day by day process and continuing to love on myself and all those programs of what I grew up in and saw and just allowed myself to be.

It's really reprogramming that and understanding and continuing moving forward and giving myself that grace and giving myself the love and choosing into moving forward and being the best that I can be on that day and then continuing on for more.

Karen Walker Cohn (14:42)
that. So now that you're practicing giving yourself grace, how is that affecting, I'm going to call your ministry and I'm going to say, you know, how is that affecting the work that you do daily?

Melissa Braga (14:58)
It has brought a different confidence in myself. One that I didn't even recognize and people have mentioned it to me. And it becomes that self doubt, right? But just...

just having that joy, like I feel so much more joy. And one of the things that I have been, you know, committing to is joy and just staying in that joy and realizing when I get, when I choose into not so much joy, is really switching back and being like, no, I get to be joyful and I get to love on myself and I get to love on others. So.

being the joyful in me is really like giving it back to others. And I've been told that like my smile has this power in it. And I was always never even realized that. And so just being in that joy has really helped, I believe has supported what I do and having other people see that.

where they can also choose into that. They can also love themselves. And we're all human. We're all human. We're all human.

Karen Walker Cohn (16:27)
Yeah, we are. Well, that is definitely one of my experiences with you. My experience of you is like this ball of sunshine. So it's joyful, it's warm, it's welcoming, and it makes you so amazing at what you do.

Melissa Braga (16:55)
Thank you.

Karen Walker Cohn (16:56)
Yeah, I'm really, I love being in your presence, Melissa. It's, that is the truth. So I'm so glad that you could be here chatting with us.

Melissa Braga (17:04)
I am so grateful to be in your presence. And this has been, I mean, there's just so much I can say. And in my experience of you is just so much love and abundance of joy and that, and like the servant leader.

That's my experience of you and I'm super excited to be on here with you because it's a privilege. Yeah, I feel very privileged and lucky. Thank you.

Karen Walker Cohn (17:30)
Hehehehe

Thank you so much. Okay. So I'm not going to go into those notes. So I'd love to know if you had one message to leave the listeners today, what would that message be?

Melissa Braga (17:58)
Really give yourself grace.

see what other people see in you.

and believe it.

start believing it and choose into believing it and being what they see. Because I feel like people see so much in others or like people see so much in me that I am coming from a place of I, like I don't see in myself. So being able to really get that feedback from others and...

believing it when it is something incredible and the greatness that they have in themselves. So that would be my message.

Karen Walker Cohn (18:57)
Yeah, I love that. And what would you say, what's the question that's coming up? What would you say to the person who's like, oh yeah, I get that, you know, I hear that when you say, believe what people are saying about you. And my mind immediately goes to the negative. Like they don't see anything great about me. They're constantly telling me how angry I am or how...

Melissa Braga (19:20)
Mmm.

Karen Walker Cohn (19:26)
um you know or mean or the or whatever that

those words are for people.

Melissa Braga (19:34)
Yeah. And so for me, I mean, I've had those moments where I was not so beautiful or, you know, or so kind. And so the and I and what I what I do is a lot about energy. So the energy you put out is the energy that people are going to see. And if that's something that people are seeing,

It doesn't mean that that's who you are. It just means that that's the energy that you're focusing on. And so focus on something light and positive and joyful, and that's the energy that people are gonna see. They're gonna see that light because I believe everyone has that light in them. Sometimes...

in the place of I, I wasn't allowing myself to shine that light. And so shine the light and it doesn't even matter what people believe or say because at that time you, like I know that I'm shining the light, I'm taking it to a place of joy and happiness and you know and so that way that's the energy that I'm putting out there that others will take and see.

Karen Walker Cohn (21:01)
Yeah.

Melissa Braga (21:01)
And so it really comes down to a choice of, do you want to be seen as angry? Do you want to have that energy of angry? Because that just, in all actuality, stress. It can kill you from the inside. It can take away so much from the inside. And you're literally just.

Karen Walker Cohn (21:17)
Yeah. Mm -hmm.

Melissa Braga (21:26)
You're dying slowly on the inside when you are stressed or angry. And so, you know, choosing out of that and choosing to find the joy and spreading that light. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (21:30)
Yeah.

And I, I hear that so much. Like, yeah, I agree with you. There, we all have a light. And sometimes I know for myself, the stress and the anger came for me because I know I have a light and I wasn't shining it. I was hiding it. I was doing everything I could to hide in the back corner and have nobody see me yet.

Melissa Braga (21:47)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (22:04)
The fight inside is I wanted everybody to see me. I wanted to be seen. And I think we all as women, we have that in common. We want to be seen. We want to be heard. And that hiding is like kind of like what you were saying is like discover those things that, you know, choose, choose into the light or choose into that. And

Melissa Braga (22:09)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (22:34)
that was a difficult choice. I shouldn't say it was a difficult choice for me to make. I didn't know that I wasn't making that choice. I was so unaware. And so getting the awareness and that starts with the willingness to do the work to get there. Well, that's what it did for me anyways. I don't know how else anyone could come out from.

Melissa Braga (22:44)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (23:03)
the darkness into the light without making a choice to do so.

Melissa Braga (23:09)
Absolutely. And in life, I mean, it's everything comes down to a choice that we get to make and realizing that that is the power behind it. For me, that was like, ooh, I'm choosing this. Like.

and it's not it's not who I am per se however it was how I was portraying myself and and so being able to be like you know what that's not how I want to portray myself I'm going to choose I'm gonna decide choose whatever word you want to say but I'm going to make it so that I'm not

Karen Walker Cohn (23:37)
Yes.

Melissa Braga (23:55)
portraying myself like that because that's not who I know that I am inside and I get to shine my light. I get to shine and everyone, you know, and it's not about everyone seeing me shine. It's more about them seeing the possibility of them shining just as bright or brighter.

Karen Walker Cohn (24:02)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, and that's just it. Like when, you know, when I shine, other people want to get in that light. I mean, that's, you can't really have one without the other. I get to shine, which is exactly what you're, you get to give yourself grace, right? And so I get to shine so that,

Melissa Braga (24:27)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (24:41)
you give yourself permission to do the same. I get to hold that context for someone else. You know, it is all about...

Melissa Braga (24:45)
Mm.

Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (24:56)
You can't, it's exactly what we said right off the top. You can't pour from an empty cup. So if you're sharing with others, you know, shine your light and you're not shining. Yeah, so we get to create that context for others to permission themselves to do the same. Yeah, it's powerful. Yeah, so good. That's the biggest piece I'm learning. And to not, for me,

Melissa Braga (25:17)
Yeah. So good.

Karen Walker Cohn (25:26)
not be ashamed of that. Like, oh my God, because I was in the camp of what will people think? What will people think when I'm like on the inside, dying inside because it's not even, I know I said, what will people think? But the truth of the matter is, what I was saying is, what do I think? You know, and putting it and putting it on other people.

Melissa Braga (25:52)
and that's so thrilling.

Yeah. And that brings up so much like childhood stuff and, you know, the way I grew up was one of the things that I had in the, like in the back of my head was always, and it's not anything against, and like I love, you know, I'm gonna say my mom, I love my mom to death.

Karen Walker Cohn (26:01)
Hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Melissa Braga (26:22)
but that was how it was a lot was what are people gonna say? What are people gonna say about you? What are people gonna think? And that was ingrained throughout my whole like until there was a point where I'm like, who cares?

Karen Walker Cohn (26:31)
Yeah.

Melissa Braga (26:46)
And I felt like I was a rebel. Like I was like, oh, I'm a rebel because I'm like, who cares what other people think? No one knows me. Like they don't know me. And the thing is, is like I wasn't even allowing people to get to know me. And so that stems from not.

Karen Walker Cohn (26:46)
Yeah.

Melissa Braga (27:10)
that stems from not wanting them to have a say in or what they were thinking about. Because I, you know, that fear of other people's, it was that need to be liked or whatever it was, that fear of them saying something poorly about me and not, and being like, that's not, that's not true. But yet that's what people are saying. And so.

Karen Walker Cohn (27:23)
Yeah, absolutely.

Mm -hmm.

Right. Right.

Melissa Braga (27:38)
now it's like a complete 180 where you know with a lot of work because I've and you know through Klemmer we've put a lot I've put a lot of work and and there's still so much more revelations to have and it's the matter of

Karen Walker Cohn (27:55)
Yes.

Melissa Braga (28:01)
What other people say, does it necessarily mean it's true? No, and that can be their opinion and that's okay. And I get to accept that and move forward and continue either modifying and changing, shifting to who I wanna be or continuing if I'm totally fine with who I am to continue in that manner and grow.

Karen Walker Cohn (28:31)
Yeah, it can be such a fine line between, because you know, at the beginning we were talking about, you know, at the top of this conversation, we're basically talking about listening to the feedback of others. You know, when I say to you, my experience of you is a ball of sunshine. And you know, you say, you listen to what other people are saying to you and

Melissa Braga (29:01)
down.

Karen Walker Cohn (29:01)
have the courage to believe them.

The scary part is that goes both ways. You know, so when it's not the greatest words or the greatest feedback,

Melissa Braga (29:08)
Yes.

Karen Walker Cohn (29:19)
we get to listen to that too. And that can be an opportunity for a lot of people. I couldn't do that before, you know, the constructive criticism. I couldn't take that because it was so harsh to me. Like it just felt awful. And I got to get to a place where, oh, you know, like,

we've heard it said, we eat feedback for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And so, yeah. And now I am at that place where I'm listening to the feedback. Good, bad, ugly. I am listening to it from a place of...

Melissa Braga (29:49)
Much at dinner.

Karen Walker Cohn (30:07)
health, like wholeness and how I know that your feedback has nothing to do with me personally. I know your feedback when it's true and authentic feedback.

Melissa Braga (30:14)
Right.

Karen Walker Cohn (30:22)
is also like it can be for my wholeness and my benefit and also feedback depending on how it's given is a reflection of the giver as well. So it's that fine line of determining is this really feedback that you know is it true? I guess that's I go back to that old those old coaching questions is it true? Is it really really true?

Melissa Braga (30:48)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (30:52)
what part of this is true for me and what part of it can I, you know, that is not, it doesn't feel, because to me, I feel like feedback should be a confirmation of what you already know. When it comes from a place of love, yeah, that's the biggest piece of it. Just because somebody's saying, oh, you're an angry this and so and so and whatever, like, judge.

Melissa Braga (31:09)
Yes.

Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (31:21)
judge where the feedback is coming from, you know, and we're all so big, I know, Melissa, you know this, we're all so big on making sure that.

Melissa Braga (31:24)
Absolutely.

Karen Walker Cohn (31:34)
you know, my husband, whether it's you, whatever, I will ask the question to see if you're even open to receive feed.

Melissa Braga (31:42)
Yes.

Karen Walker Cohn (31:43)
you know, we were talking about a friend of mine, we were just talking about feedback and giving it and what feedback actually means and what it doesn't mean. And it was so interesting because someone asked her, she's like, are you open to giving me or are you open to receiving feedback? And this is what she said, because this is really hard for me or they make something like,

It's really hard for me to ask if you're open to receiving feedback. And my friend said, yeah, no, no thanks. And then walked away. And I was like, wow, I know that I can do that now. And I know that she gave me the permission to say, yeah, no, I'm not open to your feedback, especially if it's about you.

Because her saying, what did she say about that feedback? She's like, because this is hard for me. The minute that she said that, my friend was like, then this is not feedback that's about me. It's not coming from a place of love. It's coming from whatever you got going on. So I thought that was super interesting and had just made me think of feedback in such a different way.

Melissa Braga (32:52)
Thank you.

Karen Walker Cohn (33:12)
that I can say no to it.

Melissa Braga (33:12)
Yeah, and it's what you mentioned, it was coming from them, not out of a place of love, it was for themselves, right? And that's very important because the feedback, like you mentioned, it's where is it coming from? What's the...

Karen Walker Cohn (33:21)
Mm -hmm.

Melissa Braga (33:34)
How is it like, where's the energy behind it? And is it coming from a place of love? Because if it is coming from a place of love, I feel like I can take that. And if that's what they're experiencing of me, of me at that moment, I get to take it and I get to see, okay, that's what they're experiencing. Now, does that mean, okay, that's who I am? No, but maybe in that moment, that's how I was projecting myself.

Karen Walker Cohn (33:37)
Yeah, the motive, everything.

No, no.

Right, right.

Melissa Braga (34:04)
And that's for me, that's a learning. Like that's a moment of growth of how can I, if I'm not, if that's not where I'm, that's where, that's not where I'm trying to, or that's not where I'm, where I'm wanting to project myself. Like I'm wanting to project myself out of joy and love. And my feedback is,

dominant or whatever it may be, I get to see how that's being sent out and shift if that's not exactly what I wanted to portray at that given moment in time. And there's a difference between feedback and gossip.

Karen Walker Cohn (34:36)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And, and.

Right, right, right. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like, and the truth is for me, everything's feedback. Everything is feedback. If you will look at it from that lens, everything, you know, what's coming to you in your life.

Melissa Braga (34:56)
Yes.

You

Karen Walker Cohn (35:07)
is feedback. What you have, the life you have right now that maybe you don't love and you want to shift into something different. You want the life that, you know, for me, I said the life that I say that I want and I was in something completely different, that's feedback. Yeah. And another point I noticed that you have brought up a couple times or that's coming, well, I shouldn't say,

What I heard, it wasn't you, what I heard in what you were saying about three or four times during this conversation is this idea of separating your, this is what I call it, separating your who from your do. There's a lot of times we do things that will, or have behaviors that sometimes don't,

get us the results that we want and we get feedback on that.

And we take that as, like you said, so personally that, oh my gosh, this is me. Now, now I'm angry. Now I'm like, we really internalize that as who we are. Your behaviors is not who you are. You know, like who you are is completely different. So separating who you are,

Melissa Braga (36:24)
again.

Karen Walker Cohn (36:39)
from what it is that you do is powerful.

Melissa Braga (36:44)
Absolutely. And it's something that I feel for me is just an everyday growing experience. And the more I recognize those parts, the more I get to shift or continue in the path of what I say I want and then who I get to be to get that. And...

and where I want to be, like who do I want to be, like who am I, and who do I want to be, and shift into that energy, because it's so much more powerful.

Karen Walker Cohn (37:18)
Yeah.

Thank you for sharing that. That is a powerful technique. So for those of you listening and watching, that is such a powerful technique. And I don't know if we can get a little bit more clear on that because I want people to have actionable steps to separate your who from your do. Who are you being now versus,

who you want to be when you picture that person and the life that, like for me, I know I'm here right now and I'm picturing where I want to be. Who do I need to be? What does that mean? I wrote this program called The Old Man and the Queen.

And for me, that was what I realized for myself. And I've shared a couple reels on that and even my posture. And I called it the old man because I would slouch forward and, and I, you know, I am five 10 and growing up, I thought being tall, like I was called tall a lot. And so for me being tall,

And people would say, oh, you're so tall. And I just, I made that mean that I was less than. And so because I was already coming from a place of not good enough, so the everything that I heard and did was filtered through that story of not enough or through that core belief about myself. And so I slouched and how could I make myself smaller?

And when I look back at my life and not being seen and that, like, that was all an effect of this thinking of I'm not enough. So let me hold my body in a position of less than not enough. How can I make myself smaller so I don't show out there where in my heart of hearts I was meant to be seen? And so, yeah, that's...

Melissa Braga (39:45)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (39:50)
So I called it the old man. And you would see me standing and walking like slouched over. And I know that Melissa, when we first started training together, I'm sure you saw that old man show up a lot. And that old man made me feel like if I can put words to it, it was small, less than, not enough, feeble, weak.

those are the kinds of words that I would give that persona. And when I was learning to shift into who I wanted to be, I came up with a picture. So now I had this picture of this old man and I came up with a picture for myself and the picture was a queen. Cause the words that I chose, I wanted to be confident. I wanted to...

I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be like out in the open and just the everything that I thought about. I had this image of a queen with a crown on her head and she's way like all the things, right? And immediately, like, I don't know if you noticed my body, the minute that I said queen immediately, my shoulders went back. My head was held high, shifted and

Melissa Braga (41:03)
No.

Yes.

Karen Walker Cohn (41:19)
It's this is not like a fake it till you make it. This is who I already am. I'm just getting used to stepping into that power. So I wanted to share that with listeners on shifting because some, you know, some people might be hearing it and go, I just don't know how to do that. If you can give yourself a picture of where it is that you want to go and what emotions and what.

Melissa Braga (41:32)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (41:49)
words would you use to describe that? And then watch your body move into that position. That is like some somatic work, some somatic coaching that I really love to do. But I wanted to share that with everybody because, you know, there's a difference between the old man and the queen and how they carry themselves. And so now I even had...

a crown tattooed on my wrist as a trigger device so that I would be like, oh yes, when those moments when I'm feeling less than, because they crop up, you know, and they're cropping up less and less. Thank you, Jesus. They're cropping up less and less. And I get to look at my crown and go, cause there are moments when I'm not feeling confident. And regardless of what I'm doing,

Melissa Braga (42:25)
Yes.

Amen.

Mm -hmm.

Karen Walker Cohn (42:43)
I get to separate that doingness from my beingness. And my beingness, I choose to step into confidence. I choose to step into my light. I choose those things until the choice becomes automatic, right? It was an automatic choice for me to slouch. I walked like this. I lived like this. It was an automatic choice. And it started with a learned behavior.

Melissa Braga (43:00)
Yeah.

Mmm.

Karen Walker Cohn (43:10)
and some type of thinking, it started like that, and then I taught myself, and then that's just the way it is. So if I'm gonna make up stories about myself, why not make up, I'm a queen. Why not make up like those stories? And you'll find that you think it's making it up, and you'll find eventually that, oh gosh, here's where the truth is. This is truth.

Melissa Braga (43:23)
Be the queen.

And there's power with words, so much power and energy. And so every word has its own power. And that's why the words that you choose can be so powerful as well because they have so much energy behind them. And it's funny that you say about the queen, because the first thought that came up was one of my friends, we were actually talking, and she had mentioned she was reading a book.

And the person that came up is, for those that watch like Grey's Anatomy or anything, Amelia, before her, she would stand in that like superwoman pose for just a few seconds. And it would bring all that like confidence. And there's something to say about that.

like energy wise, there's like some, she was reading a book about how that and its own can bring that beingness and that like energy to shift and really like get you into that zone and beingness, which I've started doing and it's funny and like it's funny looking. And at the same time, I can feel it. I can feel that and it's that shift.

Karen Walker Cohn (44:52)
Yeah.

I love it. Yeah, so much power. Oh gosh. We have gone, I'm gonna have quite a time titling this because we did, this conversation was so great. We went all different places and I really appreciate that you could be here and just the ease at which.

Melissa Braga (44:56)
So much power in that.

Karen Walker Cohn (45:25)
the conversation just went everywhere. And there's, I hope that there's a lot of wisdom nuggets for those listening that you pulled something out of this. I would love to know what it is. What are your takeaways? Please make sure you put those in the comments and follow and all the things you will see all my show notes and everything.

about Melissa and where you can find her and the energy work that she does is powerful. Especially, Melissa, I want to say the stuff that you do with, what is it called? I want to call it body mapping, but it's not that. It's, yes, what is it called, tell me

Melissa Braga (46:14)
Muscle testing? Yes. So muscle testing, yeah, so it's muscle testic. That's the most generic way. There's so many different ways. So it's like applied kinesiology is the technical term, comes from that. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (46:20)
Muscle, yeah, muscle testing. That is so cool.

Yeah, that's amazing. And so, your body, people, it never lies. It'll always tell you the truth. And so, I'm glad that we're kind of closing on this, talking about somatics and the way that we hold our body, and then going into the muscle testing. I think that is so cool, and it really fits into exactly your ministry, Melissa, and what it is that you do. So, thank you so much for being here.

Melissa Braga (46:48)
Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I