Coming Back to Love: the podcast

Karen Walker Cohn (00:00)
Hmm. Krystal, when you hear the title of this podcast, Coming Back to Love, inspiring stories on shifting perspectives, what story or experience from your life comes to mind?

Krystal Zellmer (00:21)
thought best thought I think is the answer and I would say that was losing my dad at 24 and really not knowing what was gonna happen with his company and Kimberly and I locking arms and

finding a way where it felt like there wasn't a way. So that to me is the, that's the thing in my life that I most got to rebrand or reframe or however you wanna put that as something that was in its infancy heartbreaking. And as I've gotten the opportunity to process it and stand in his 500 year plan, it's really

come full circle to a place of when I think of his loss, I actually think of his legacy.

Karen Walker Cohn (01:21)
So good. So.

curious and you know, feel free to answer, feel free to not. It's all good. I'm curious about like, I'm thinking about myself, if that were to ever happen to me or in some way shape or form. Did it feel like, were you always going to take over his company?

Krystal Zellmer (01:33)
Bye.

Karen Walker Cohn (01:55)
this something that was like, okay, now I get to do this because of the legacy or

Krystal Zellmer (02:05)
You know, I actually had a facilitator ask me before my dad even passed if I was going to be part of the company someday. And I always said, yes, I always knew that I would be involved. I never thought involvement looked like him not being there or being at the helm. So that wasn't even in my line of sight or in what I thought was possible. I always knew that I would facilitate someday. I always knew that...

I would be a part of the organization. I just didn't know it would look like this. So I thought, great when you think it's gonna look in your plan. My whole thing was I get to go out and make a name for myself in a different industry where when I come in and I start facilitating, nobody's gonna think I'm doing this because I'm Brian Clemmer's daughter. The...

Karen Walker Cohn (02:39)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Krystal Zellmer (03:01)
I wanted the optic to be that this is what I choose to do, not just what is provided to me or handed to me or whatever that looked like. So I thought it was going to look different because I didn't think that I would start with the company at 24 years old. And that's how it ended up looking. And I still feel like I have gotten an opportunity to do things that a lot of people haven't in terms of I both owned the company and...

was training at the bottom level like anybody else would train, treated no different than somebody who was in training with their organization. So I did get the best of both worlds in my opinion.

Karen Walker Cohn (03:37)
Mm.

Right. That's awesome. I think that's so cool. And so the

Krystal Zellmer (03:45)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (03:52)
What I'm thinking about is...

taking on something that, okay, you didn't think it was going to look like this. Right. And so what would you say to those viewers, those listeners that have this big dream in their heart or they have something that they want to do? And in their mind, like for me, I was sharing with you earlier about this podcast. I sat on this podcast for about four years. I didn't know it was a podcast.

I just knew that I wanted to interview people who inspired me. And I sat on it because in my mind, it had to look like something. What could you share to if someone else is in that spot right now is holding on to these things and it doesn't look the way they thought it would look, what would you say to them?

Krystal Zellmer (04:59)
There's this quote that I love, I think Ali something, and she says, sometimes all it takes to do something incredible is to not know you can't do it. And it's this like, I think a lot of the times we've decided we can't way before we ever start, and it never looks the way you think it's gonna look. It always unfolds as you go, even if you create the most elaborate, incredible plan.

Karen Walker Cohn (05:11)
Wow.

Krystal Zellmer (05:26)
So just not talking yourself out of it before you start, that's what I would encourage people to do. Just take the first step and see what happens and then take another step and see what happens. And don't talk yourself out of it before you start.

Karen Walker Cohn (05:39)
Wow. Yeah, that's that tends to be like I know for me that tends to be the who the first thing I do is like there's almost like this fight inside of me, you know, like here's like there's an inkling or there's something that's coming up for like an intuition that this would be a great step. And then I argue with

myself with God, whatever, I argue about why I can't.

Oh, I, I am.

How did you, I guess I'm assuming you had that going on for yourself. I shouldn't assume that. How did you overcome that?

Krystal Zellmer (06:31)
Totally. Yeah.

Yes and no. Don't think about it too much. Every time I think about it, a ton, and I'll even, everybody sucks the first few times. Everybody's terrible. But I don't think people permission themselves for that ugly duckling face. They don't permission themselves for the, every speaker at one point or another was not much to write home about.

Karen Walker Cohn (06:59)
Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (07:07)
every podcaster when they first started stumbled and didn't have great lighting and like every first video on YouTube, like I would encourage people that are in that, wanting that industry. I hope you go back to some of those places and you scroll all the way to the bottom of this influencers page and watch their first video ever. Cause it will inspire you that you can start wherever you're at and still be incredibly successful. So I think-

Karen Walker Cohn (07:33)
Yes.

Krystal Zellmer (07:36)
Part of it is just being willing to be bad at it for a while and not quit. Cause you're like mastery is built in that, figuring it out and being messy. And when I started, I remember feeling like, and I was, that's the part that people don't really talk about. I was unqualified, not trained. Like there was maybe raw potential, but it wasn't.

abolished by any means. And that's the training part. That's the, so allowing myself to be bad at it and mentored by incredible people who will chip away at your, your act, who will give you honest feedback, who will step, stand in the unknown with you for long enough for you to get good at it. And that process allows for me, it allowed.

Karen Walker Cohn (08:05)
Yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (08:33)
me to see glimmers of hope in what could be as I practiced. And you can practice anywhere.

Karen Walker Cohn (08:38)
Right. Yeah. Practices. I mean, I practiced arguing with myself and telling myself, you know, from a place of not enough. I practiced that for years until I got really good at it. And it's like it becomes second nature that you don't even know you're doing it until you step into a room of water walkers like yourself.

Krystal Zellmer (08:53)
Yeah.

I don't know about that.

Karen Walker Cohn (09:07)
Well, and here's the thing that, you know, I say that and it's like the people that I follow, well, I'm following them and they're only a few steps ahead of me. And some I end up walking past, you know? And I've shared a vision.

Krystal Zellmer (09:22)
100%.

Yeah?

Karen Walker Cohn (09:36)
on another podcast. I don't even know if it made it to the podcast. It might be just a piece that was kind of like, you know, after the podcast, kind of behind the scenes. Yeah, and it was like, I have this vision and the vision is way off and it's blurry. So it's not really crystallized. I can't really, but I know that I have something. And I remember

Krystal Zellmer (09:45)
It's a good fun.

Karen Walker Cohn (10:05)
When I was living in Canada, God shared with me, I felt in my spirit that he said, for every one mile of road is two miles of ditch. And I was like, my first thought was like, miles? Why are you speaking to me like that? Miles? Like, who's talks in miles? I mean, we in Canada, we're in kilometers. And that was the first, yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (10:18)
good.

kilometers.

Karen Walker Cohn (10:35)
And then I'm like, okay, so what does that mean? Fast forward to this past year and this vision comes back to mind and now I'm living in the United States. Like miles makes a lot of sense. And so I am walking down this road and he's like, make sure your hands are out to the sides. And there's people in those ditches that are reaching out to you.

grab as many hands as you can, pull them along side, bring them on the road to you. And what you're not going to do is stop walking towards the vision that I have for you so somebody whose hands you've grabbed onto can pull you back into the ditch. And there's a lot of times where I went back into the ditch, thinking like, I don't wanna leave this person behind.

It's a loved one. At the time it was a husband. And I just don't want to leave this person behind. And how do I keep walking towards the things I'm called to?

Krystal Zellmer (11:35)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (11:52)
I guess with that level of hurt. And it's funny, I don't even know. I just, this is that I brought that up, but it's kind of like you're coming back to love moment is there's a level of hurt there. Now you're walking towards this vision of without the person that you thought was going to be by your side doing that. Wow. And what a speaking for myself, what an honor and a privilege.

that you chose yes, you chose yourself and you also chose me in that process because I read your book before I even went through the Clemmer work. Someone was kind enough to share, getting emotional, share your book with me. And it just moved me like

I had the book downstairs. Anyways, I'm gonna show it on the introduction. But like there's pages where all of it's highlighted. It's like, I might as well have just highlighted the whole book. Anyways, I want to personally thank you for that. And then I had the opportunity to take my first, the quickening. Yes. And there you were in the room.

Krystal Zellmer (13:11)
Yeah, and see you in a bit. Oh, yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (13:19)
So not only did I get to meet one of my mentors who didn't know she was a mentor, and now I know you must know you are one of my mentors. Now here I got to meet you, and then promptly you sent me home. Ha ha ha.

Krystal Zellmer (13:28)
Ha!

Karen Walker Cohn (13:44)
Oh, it is an inside joke, y'all. I had the COVID. So she's like, please go home.

Krystal Zellmer (13:52)
And in the talk about coming back to love, I vividly remember that moment and going, I wonder if I'm ever going to get to see her again.

because there are absolutely people who, regardless of the circumstance, illness, we can set judgment to the side, that in that moment just won't finish the process. Like, because it didn't look the way they wanted it to look, oh, I got a bubble. I don't know how I got a bubble, but I got a bubble. I, for those of you who aren't watching, but that.

Karen Walker Cohn (14:26)
That's awesome. The spirit says yes.

Krystal Zellmer (14:33)
that mo that's a moment of choice of, okay, it didn't look the way I wanted it to look in the moment. Am I going to choose offense or feeling rejected or feel like all the things? And as the person on the other side, I could look into your eyes and go, I hope I get to see her again. And I don't know. And there are people that have left for the same reason and never come back and they're not you, you know? So it is a, are we going to choose to love even when it doesn't look the way we want it to look?

Karen Walker Cohn (15:00)
Right, right. And I will tell you this, because I don't think I have told you this before. I was in the, Diane was the facilitator for that quickening. And I was there for, you know, just past the intro, 10, 15 minutes. And this was the second time this happened to me. The first time is when I found my

calling, my coaching calling. And that was like almost 15 years prior. And in that room, 10, 15 minutes into it, it's like the clouds parted, the light shone down and the angels sang. And it was like, I knew that I knew that I would be, I would finish the entire program, I would become a Clemmer coach. And that's all I knew. And I mean, that's all I needed to know.

Krystal Zellmer (15:57)
So good. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (16:00)
And I'm still in the process and there were many times in that process where things did not look the way I thought it would look, including this podcast. So thank you. Thank you and all the other facilitators and leaders. What I love is that you see the potential, you see things in me and you call me to greatness.

Krystal Zellmer (16:10)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (16:30)
You guys do that so well.

Krystal Zellmer (16:34)
I'm reading a book called On Fire right now. It was a recommendation from somebody on my team. And he was just speaking, he was a burn victim, and he was just speaking about when they needed to stretch his joints, specifically his knees, so that he could eventually walk again. And they like excruciating pain of that. And it's exactly what you just mentioned. It's this moment where I can see

that the scar has you bound, that the thing has you holding, but like there's the ability to walk in you all over again. And it's, can you see people and then hold them capable within whatever pain they choose or whatever the, cause it doesn't have to be painful. And a lot of the times people make it painful, but it's that moment of going like, you get to choose whether or not you wanna stay in this. And if you'll stay in it with me, us, a team,

whoever the company is, whoever the coach is, and stretch long enough, you can rebuild something that other people see in you that's so powerful, and you gotta be willing to stay in the moment and be coached and allow yourself to borrow that person's faith in what you can do instead of what you can't do.

Karen Walker Cohn (17:55)
Right. That's so good. Yeah, it's so good. Hey, if y'all have your journals handy, that was a wisdom nugget. Take some notes. Take some notes. So Crystal, tell me if there was one message that you could... Actually, I want to ask you this question before that.

Krystal Zellmer (17:56)
Toga.

I love it.

What?

Okay, because you didn't even finish and I went just one.

This is

Karen Walker Cohn (18:22)
I know you're leaving so many messages already. What is the next big dream that you're working on?

Krystal Zellmer (18:35)
Hmm. What category? Are we doing categories?

Karen Walker Cohn (18:38)
Yeah. Well, what's the first one that comes to your mind?

Krystal Zellmer (18:45)
Uhhh...

I so it too honestly came at almost the exact same time. One is my husband and I are in a massive season of growth in our relationship. And that's the dream is to grow in such a way that our relationship is a 10 and.

like that's the dream, right? That's a growth area. Another big dream is there's, I got so many big dreams. I mean, because we could talk like stuff at the Legacy Ranch, we could talk all of that. The one that I feel like personally attached to is I get to release another book.

Karen Walker Cohn (19:22)
I know you do.

Krystal Zellmer (19:34)
early next year, and that is probably the stretchiest thing that I have myself in this current moment. So yeah. And my word for this year is duplication. So a big part of my year is duplicating myself and handing the baton of responsibility in different areas. So that I'm not just doing more, but I'm going further.

Karen Walker Cohn (19:45)
so excited.

Krystal Zellmer (20:03)
together with people that I trust. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (20:05)
Right. Yeah. Love it. I'm so excited. Are you allowed to share the topic or anything about the book?

Krystal Zellmer (20:14)
Yeah, I actually did an Instagram poll, which is how we, because I have like eight books in my head that I want to write. I don't know exactly what the title is going to be yet. And it's going to be on the different faces of resistance and how that shows up unconsciously on automatic for different people and how self-destructive it is. So we definitely talk about that.

Karen Walker Cohn (20:37)
Right. Yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (20:42)
in the Personal Mastery or the Quickening Course in terms of the three R's. This is like the things that people don't recognize or resistance that are actually resistance, like resignation, like procrastination, like shutting down, like things like being tired, like things that are so common.

that people wouldn't call it resistance because they would almost say, well, that's just who I am or that's just how I operate because it's so common. And that's the topic of the book. So what gets people there in the first place and then how people pursue a desire to regain control through this self-destructive behavior. That's the meat of the next book.

Karen Walker Cohn (21:29)
Yeah, so good. We were just talking before the podcast about how, you know, I went to Heart of the Samurai and I was so sick going there. I could barely walk, but I was like, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going to show up. Yet I showed up, yay, me, and I showed up in resistance.

Krystal Zellmer (21:53)
Yeah!

Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (21:59)
And my body was telling me, talk about resistance, it felt like all my joints were seized up. Yeah, and the minute that I was able to just let that go and just, okay. You know what, I think for me, what really moved me and literally moved me because I was seized up and stiff, is stepping into joy. And for me, that's dancing and dancing. I just admit.

immediately feel joy. And of course releasing a lot of the emotional stuff that was going on as well. But yeah I walked out of there, I walked in there with a, I was going through testing and with a diagnosis, not quite a diagnosis yet of lupus. And so before I went I got to go to the doctors and you know do all

Krystal Zellmer (22:52)
Oh.

Karen Walker Cohn (22:57)
testing and all that stuff. And after leaving heart, it was about two or three weeks after I got to go back to the rheumatologist and they did the same tests over again. And they were like, what is what's going on? And I'm like, I don't know. I just, I feel so much better. Yeah. It was absolute healing. It was absolute healing. And the emotional stuff that, that I was stuffing and I like,

Krystal Zellmer (23:19)
healing. What's going on?

Karen Walker Cohn (23:26)
Oh gosh, anyway, so my doctor comes back and goes, like he's looking at the two different papers, he's like, I'll be right back. He goes to the head of rheumatology at the hospital. She comes in to take a look at me and she's like, do you see this piece of paper? And I'm like, yes. And it was like, everything was there that pretty much was saying that, oh, it's lupus or it's some autoimmune.

And she's like, and then look at this one. She's like, I'm looking at two different people here. I know. And she's like, what did you do? I went to a course. Honestly, this is a true story. This is what happened. I went to a course. I found out all my emotional junk, left there knowing my purpose and starting. Well, I actually in heart trademarked.

my production company, which is my next big dream, knowing that I'm gonna start the podcast and trademarking the production company and that's coming next. So, yeah, it was like not talk about like what you said, you know, walking and how it was like in my mind, I was like, or you know, like knowing that scar, knowing that you're gonna walk again, well, and run, like, yeah, for me, it was like,

Krystal Zellmer (24:28)
Yeah?

WAH!

Karen Walker Cohn (24:54)
No, this is not just about walking anymore. I literally, my body started walking at heart and the next phase was samurai camp and now I'm running. So thank you, thank you, thank you. So now.

Krystal Zellmer (25:07)
So good.

And the touchy part of that topic that like, and for whoever is listening or watching, like doesn't have to be true for you at all. Because I think that there is illness and there is sickness and there is disease and I'm not denying any of that stuff. And the body is capable of such wildly powerful things.

Karen Walker Cohn (25:25)
Mm-hmm.

Krystal Zellmer (25:38)
And sometimes it's true illness and sometimes it's the body's internal resistance to something that's coming. And that, like when you can actually get a hold on that, it allows so much, because I think so many times, especially just in our culture and in our society, we come to this place of, well,

I'm just sick. And we almost claim, Kimberly Zink has talked to me about this so many times, and we almost claim an illness over our body and then use it as a built-in reason to not do the thing we know we're called to do. And it's a completely acceptable reason to not move. And when you're willing, like you were, to take control back over that thing, it's just interesting that this is all the place that this podcast is going.

Karen Walker Cohn (26:06)
Yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (26:31)
But when you're willing to take control back over whatever that thing is and not release your control to something your body's experiencing, you're back in the driver's seat of your own life, which is incredibly powerful.

Karen Walker Cohn (26:45)
So good. Thank you for sharing that. So now I will ask you if there's one message that you could leave the watchers, the listeners, what would it be?

Krystal Zellmer (26:50)
Okay, I'm ready.

I hate this.

That's so interesting. One message.

that you're responsible for the quality of your own life. And that's powerful, liberating, exciting. And some of you went, ugh, I don't want to be responsible for the quality of my own life. And the truth is that every choice you've made up and until this point has gotten you to exactly where you're at. And that's not blame. That's not shame. That's not guilt. I'm not suggesting any of those choices were good, bad, right, or wrong. Just when that.

willingness to go, I'm responsible for the quality of my own life. And nobody can tell me otherwise. Like that positioning is so freeing and empowering. And if anybody is sitting, watching, listening, and you feel in any way trapped, victim stuck, like

I'm not suggesting you want to be there. And I am suggesting that you're responsible for being there. And not in a bad way, in a great way. And that means you can get up. That means you can do something different. That means your life can be exactly what you want it to be or you design it to be, or quite frankly you're committed to it being. And you're commit, like wherever you're at in your life will always be a result of you looking at all the things that you're most deeply committed to. And you have the right and the...

and the God-given gift to choose. And that's radically empowering. And that's what I would want everybody on the listening to know.

Karen Walker Cohn (28:52)
So good. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Miss Crystal. Thank you so much for being here and for every gosh, I don't even know how, I don't think I have adequate words to tell you the impact you and Kimberly Zink.

and the whole Clemmer, Brian Clemmer has on my life right now. And the impact that I am able to make because y'all spoke into my life.

It is incredibly powerful and it's not just my life, my husband, my son, my, my family. It's like they're walking out of these weekend seminars completely different than they walked in. And it's like, oh, I can do this. You know, yeah.

Krystal Zellmer (30:01)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (30:02)
you can do this and they believe that's not even, they're not even asking that. They're asking, how can I do this? And next thing you know, like my son, he's in Australia and he's living his dream life. Yeah. Cause you were the facilitator for him. He was like, I got this 90 day goal and he's been talking about moving to Australia for years and years. And he's like, he left that, came back here in San Antonio for a wedding.

Krystal Zellmer (30:18)
Wow.

Karen Walker Cohn (30:30)
And on the 90th day, so his goal, his 90 day goal was to get, to move to Australia and to have a place to live and have a job. And he got those, the first two right away, the job came on day 90. Yeah. And he, he spoke, I spoke with him last night and he is living his best life. I don't know that I've ever seen him this happy.

He showed up on the camera and you can see his light. And I went to bed with such a full heart because I've never seen that in him before. So, I mean, I've always seen his light, but you know, like when it's like, whoa, holy cow, who's this kid? You know, it was, it's just so powerful. And I'm, you know, my nieces, my nephews, my sister, my like, like all of it. And I'm looking forward to.

Krystal Zellmer (31:02)
Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (31:27)
going back to my hometown of Calgary. And I just looked and I noticed that you are the facilitator for that quickening coming up. And so I just wanna share that with everyone in Calgary, Alberta, the quickening June 21st to 23rd. Join myself, Ms. Crystal and my sister, Nanette Sinandon. And we are, we're going there.

to support you changing your life. Or maybe not changing or just like being more of who you've always been, you know, being created to be. So.

Krystal Zellmer (31:59)
Yeah.

good as your life is right now, would you be okay with it getting better in less time with less effort? That's the question. Like, are you open to it being better than you could have imagined in this current moment? Even as good as it is, that's the exciting part. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

Karen Walker Cohn (32:21)
That is exciting. That is so exciting. So thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much.

Krystal Zellmer (32:28)
I'm grateful to have gotten the opportunity and I look forward to seeing you again.

Karen Walker Cohn (32:32)
And I'm glad I came back after you sent me home. Oh, that is so good.

Krystal Zellmer (32:36)
Yes! Me too! Me too. Good. That's good.